What to Do if You Mess Up Your Diet (Even Though I Didn’t) December 18, 2009

I’m sorry that I’ve been so lazy lately.  I wanted to let you know that I haven’t fallen off the wagon or anything.  (Who is driving/steering the wagon, btw?  I like to think it’s Richard Simmons, and he’s shouting encouragements to us as we bounce along.)  Well, anyway I’ve still been counting and going strong, except yesterday.

Yesterday was a weird day.  I think sometimes my hormones are like “Today we’re just going to do whatever the hell we want, and that means that today is going to be graze-like-a-cow day.  Now head to the kitchen!”  It’s funny.  Once every so often my ability to reason is literally overridden by some PMS-type of self-entitlement that translates into me being really feisty and insatiable.  Yesterday was that day.  Luckily it really only happens once every six months or so.

So what would I do if I had fallen off the wagon, and Richard Simmons was shouting for me to run and catch up?  I think that’s the problem with falling off the wagon.  We think that the wagon doesn’t wait for us, and that’s the idea behind the saying.  But we need to think of it differently.  We need to think that there are lots of other wagons coming along, or the wagon will always wait for us.

Lots of times when we mess up a diet, we have this terrible bout of all-or-nothing thinking.  It’s like we just say “well I really screwed the pooch on that one–guess I’ll just go to Golden Corral and make it official.”  But we should realize that it’s okay to slip up.  In case we do, we should just do what the British say, which is “Keep calm and carry on.”  Maybe all dieters should put that famous slogan somewhere in their kitchen or someplace they’d see it.  Here’s what it looks like:

So that’s what to do when you find yourself in the dirt looking at the backside of a wagon.  Keep calm and carry on.  You don’t have to run to catch up, so there’s no need to panic.  Just go right back to what you were doing before.

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In other news, I’ve had a revelation.  I used to use Thursday nights as my TGIT (I don’t work on Fridays) culinary celebration.  On Thursday nights I’d eat Chinese usually.  Chinese is difficult to measure though because there’s really no telling what’s in it.  Do they put 4 tablespoons of sugar in something that you don’t even think of as sweet?  How much sesame oil is topping off this dish?  No one knows.  So Chinese, while fine to eat when calorie counting, isn’t exactly the best choice for a weekly meal.  (Once a week= 4 times a month= 48 times a year.  $14 x 48 = $672 a year on Chinese food.  YIPES!)  I realized that if I’m going to spend $675 dollars on something, I’d rather it didn’t make me fat.

Sushi!  I love sushi.  Of course, I don’t eat any of the raw stuff, but I still love the rest of it.  Sushi is considerably more healthy than Chinese food that’s deep fried and soaked in sugar and oil.  So I can eat sushi for my TGIT meals and still get that TGIT feeling without as many calories.  Genius!  I should get a Nobel Peace Prize for this.

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Lastly, I think I’m going to lower my calories after Christmas.  I want to speed up the weight loss, and it’s coming off so SLOWLY.  I know that weight loss is just like the story of the tortoise and the hare, so I’m not going to just drink salt water and eat a can of tuna a day, but I’m going to lower my calorie intake to 1,500 after Christmas.  I’d do it before, but I won’t lie, I want to be able to eat more Christmas cookies.

I don’t know if this is a “bad” move or not.  I think it’s fine.  It should just move me past the current plateau that I’m on.  Right now I’m eating on a diet more than what most women should have in a normal day.  Granted, I’m pretty tall, but still, I don’t think it’s going to kill me to slash a few more calories.

Welp, that’s all for now.  I hope you’re all having a good time as Christmas approaches, and I especially hope you’ve been nice so Santy won’t have you on the naughty list.  (I’m a lifetime member of the naughty list, but Santy is forgiving!)

I’m Always So Busy but I’m Getting Skinny! November 29, 2009

Sorry–this is going to be another short post.  I’m going to be really busy until I can finally take a few weeks vacation in December, but I have to relate a small victory.

As you all know, I decided that on Thanksgiving I would be thankful for sweets and casseroles and fattening things, and I most certainly was.  But that wasn’t the only thing that happened over the holiday.

I GOT MY FIRST “YOU’VE LOST WEIGHT!”

Yep.  I did.  I was at church Thanksgiving morning, and a lady I’ve known my whole life came up to me and said, “Well you just look so good–you look like you’ve lost some weight.”  It was all I could do not to jump up and down and scream “Hot diggity damn straight, lady!”  Instead, I was so surprised that I said, “Err well I mean, no, well maybe like a pound or not even that, so no but maybe a few pounds.”  Then immediately I felt like an ass for denying someone a compliment, which I’m told is rude.

But still, she said it.  And she’s not even related to me.  And she doesn’t know that I’ve been trying.  So I was pretty stoked about that.  I thought I would share with you, and let it be encouragement to you all in your own attempts!

I’m so pumped up about it, I think I’m going to go for a butt-crack-of-dawn early walk.

Today I drove 6 hrs, so I didn’t eat anything before because I don’t like to stop.  (Yeah you read that right–I can hold it almost indefinitely.)

Lunch:

Asian noodles (soy sauce, egg noodles, ginger, garlic, sesame oil, sugar, rice wine vinegar)

Snack:

Slug o’ peanut butter

Supper:

7 Layer Burrito

Nacho Cheese Chalupa

Thanksgiving and Day 20 November 24, 2009

Well, it’s almost time to leave The Ranch and head home.  Thanksgiving is almost among us, and I’ve got a few days off work.

If the whole country could listen up for a minute: *ahem* Please do not drive anywhere on the interstates tomorrow.  Thank you.

I’m going to pack up the dog and pony show of absurdity that is my life and relax for a few days as my parents nag me.

In other news, I made a pizza today and ate the whole thing.  I didn’t eat anything else though, so I’m still doing alright.  It was basically dough and garlic and cheese and onions (in that order).  And it was faaaaaantastic.  I did have grits in the morning as well.

I’ve decided that I’m going to start taking pictures of everything I eat.  (How many times am I going to say that?)

I’ve also set up my twitter, so when I don’t have time for a long post, I’ll just tweet.  (I hate saying that so much.  I am NOT a bird… I don’t think.)

Calories left today:  130.

Much better than usual.